Colleagues with Big Egos - Say Something or Not?

[zenteach]

Have you ever experienced working with someone in international schools with a huge ego?

Signs of this include repeated mention of how great they are, what they use to do at their last school that was so amazing, how everything is terrible unless they are involved in it, so on and so forth. Additionally these types tend to put others down in order to feel better about themselves.

Do you eventually point it out to them when they time and time again raise themselves above others, or do you just let them live in their la-la land? Are some things just better left unsaid? Or is it worth mentioning so that you do not have to listen to it anymore?

[bish180b]

teachers with huge egos...are u kidding...schools are full of these flogs

[vandsmith]

zenteach wrote:
> Have you ever experienced working with someone in international schools
> with a huge ego?
>
> Signs of this include repeated mention of how great they are, what they use
> to do at their last school that was so amazing, how everything is terrible
> unless they are involved in it, so on and so forth. Additionally these
> types tend to put others down in order to feel better about themselves.
>
> Do you eventually point it out to them when they time and time again raise
> themselves above others, or do you just let them live in their la-la land?
> Are some things just better left unsaid? Or is it worth mentioning so that
> you do not have to listen to it anymore?

sure. constructive criticism and all that. the "one-ups-manship" was particularly annoying.

v.

[mysharona]

When I first arrived at my current school the big egos used to sit in the backrow during our staff meetings and heckle the principal, they were insufferable. If not kept in check those big egos can make life hell for their colleagues and students.

[PsyGuy]

Has anyone worked in an IS that didnt have someone with a big ego?

I doubt words would ever get through to someone with such an ego, usually its an experience if anything that changes them.

[Heliotrope]

Big egos are everywhere, so also in international education, and also here on ISR.

Saying something to such a colleague won't change much. Unless it's said by you and a significant number of others, as a group or all individually, so he/she (usually a 'he' though) can't brush it aside as nonsense from one individual, although even then some will still do so. But even if it does result is change, it might just be temporary. I have seen permanent change, which is admirable, and unfortunately quite rare.

But if he/she tends to put others down, it might be good to speak up. Perhaps not to affect him/her (ideally it would), but to let the person who is being put down know that you're not ok with it. You could also take this up with someone in leadership, since bullying amongst colleagues should be reprimanded, as it can severely affect a department.

[zenteach]

Thank you for the replies everyone. For now I have decided not to say anything as I agree with the opinion given that words do not necessarily change people like this. In the end, I think this person may just have a very low self-esteem so they need to talk themselves up. It gets old quick, but I can ignore it and move on for now as it is annoying, but not hurting anyone.

[drett]

We he is bragging, try and change the conversation to something that involves students. That is, after all, what the job actually is.

[fine dude]

Have worked with both colleagues and administrators who think of themselves as CEOs. However, when you have inexperienced 'leaders' who suddenly got big bumps in their careers, thanks to nepotism etc. and make stupid decisions, it's the experienced colleagues who have the courage to stand up and call it out. So, don't mistake upright and constructive criticism as an ego issue. Understand the problem and solve it before passing on the blame.

[Doctor]

A symptom of the big ego - they never shut up and trying to get a word in edge wise is not worth the effort because they won't hear what you have to say anyway. Another symptom is their teacher centered sage on stage approach to education. It must be hard for an egotist who can't his mouth shut to quietly adopt a guide on the side approach to education.

On the other hand, they can be entertaining and it is easy for a student to just kick back and "take notes" and let a confident and well spoken know it all take center stage.

[PsyGuy]

@drett

Why do you assume the leader was a "he", female leaders have just as big of egos.

@Doctor

All due respect to the trend of student centered pedagogy, some material is most effectively and efficiently transferred by direct teach.

[MusicTravel30]

Just ignore them.

I try to become close to a few teachers, 3 to 5, at every school I go to. It helps a lot.

[drett]

PsyGuy wrote:
> @drett
>
> Why do you assume the leader was a "he", female leaders have just
> as big of egos.
>
Sounded like a guy to me, maybe I'm sexist. Guess I'll seek counseling. But you are correct- plenty of big ego females in schools .

[PsyGuy]

Wed be in the same counseling.

[expatscot]

Frequently....

I heard tell recently of one teacher who came storming into a school, promising the earth and a vast experience. He lasted about 3 months before one morning he just didn't turn up, and the brown stuff hit the fan......