by expatscot » Sun Mar 12, 2017 4:01 am
We moved abroad with out (then) 13 year old daughter, to a country we'd only visited once on holiday and even then to a different city. Some thoughts from that experience...
1. Tell them as soon as possible. Preferably the minute you make the decision to move, even before you know where you're going. They need time to process what is happening, what will be expected, how it will affect them.
2. Involve them as far as possible in all decisions. If they decide, for whatever reason, they really don't want to move to a certain country, then don't go there. My daughter took very strongly against UAE, for some reason, and when I did apply for a couple of jobs there she really took it badly (needless to say that's not where we ended up!) Lesson learnt...
3. Once you have an offer from a school, sit down with the kids and go through the school website and information with them. You'll have done this already yourself as part of the vetting for the school, but let them see what they are getting into and that they are happy with it.
4. Get them set up with Facebook, FaceTime, etc. FB has age limits technically but if you're sensible with it then it can be really useful for keeping in touch with grannies, friends, etc. My daughter still talks to many of her friends back home, and is currently arranging what to do with them when she's back in the summer.
5. Whatever the kids say, don't expect them to be happy all the time about the move. They will see you're excited, and looking forward to it, and might not want to burst that bubble by talking to you about their worries about the move. We didn't spot this until about 3 or 4 months into our time here, and that was probably the most difficult period since our move. Get them to talk to you, their school guidance teacher / year head / class teacher before they go, and when they get there let them know about the support network available to them.
6. Prepare for homesickness. They will miss people, including some they didn't expect. Make sure that grandparents, cousins, aunties are all on side at least to the kids about the move, as if they're not it will make things worse.
7. Bring photos, favourite books / toys, clothes, anything which will give them some familiarity from home. Depending on the country you are going to, this could include pets. As others said, try to find out which of their favourite foods are not available in the country you are going to, and bring some with you to ration.
Our first move was difficult, but not impossible. We're about to take on our second, and this time we're more prepared and ready for it.