Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

McQwaid
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 11:46 pm

Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by McQwaid »

Hello ISR Community

I had an unfortunate incident occur recently that I am not very familiar in dealing with and I am just wondering if I can get some encouraging advice from the ISR forum community.

I am currently teaching a grade 10 topic on Human Trafficking in a Humanities Unit on Trade and Exchange. We were at the Taking Action/Raising Awareness part of the unit and the students were put in small groups and did some research for a presentation on a particular area of Human Trafficking. One group of 3 chose Child Prostitution. This particular group of three, apparently, do not like me. They went on my Wife's Facebook and mine and plucked pictures out and put together a slideshow with an Introduction Slide called "Child Prostitution Best". They proceeded to create 7-10 more slides following the assignment guidelines of a Who-What-When-Where-Why approach, while using my picture on the slides and using my home country (Western developed with extremely low Child Prostitution issues)) as a disproportionate hyperbolized example "red zone" with statistics and case studies followed by my picture with a big STOP IT! message font under my face as the final concluding slide. They presented this to the class with giggles and fun. They also inappropriately used 3 other student photos who were in the audience on a few other slides. I was shocked and so were the other 13 student observers.

I moved over the issue quickly due to the topic and public sensitivity, told them to take their seats, and I made a comment that it was very unfortunate that they took such a serious and heart breaking issue as an opportunity to entertain themselves, and left it at that, until I spoke with my Principal.

He was shocked too, and supportive. However, we investigated a bit more into it and found through the editing history function on Google Slides that they had a multitude of my private pictures used and photo-shopped in a provocative and suggestive way but they deleted the strongest ones out prior to the presentation.

We both decided together to conduct a 3-way-meeting with each student separately. One of the students was very apologetic and remorseful, another one was apologetic and confused, and the 3rd one was defiant and stimulated by the opportunity like it was a debate and did not express any apology. All 3 students claimed it was a response to my strict classroom management and specifically highlighted they did not like the seating plan as the other teachers let them sit where they want (Context Note: These are male boys from very rich families in an Asian region and a school body that is very small and we have a very soft approach with student discipline combined with a "Customer is King" mentality due to the fact that the school is financially suffering and in a desperate need for more students.)

We called in the parent of the defiant student and she brought her son with him. In behavior, the student remained unremorseful and very mechanical and cold and I highlighted this as a concern in the meeting. He started getting aggressive in his tone and explained that he can't give a forced apology and that he regrets what he did. The Mom remained silent the whole time, and when she finally chimed in, her energy was directed at me, stating in a loud voice, that "this is the way he says sorry" and then scolded me for "bringing up the past rather than focusing on the specific issue". I think she was referring to my cognitive behavioral counseling like approach as inquiry to establish what was really going on for the student to act out in this way. Anyways, her cognitive dissonance was shocking because I thought she was there to support us as she is a key member of the parent board and I did not really see this as a meeting to see who was in the wrong, the teacher or the student, which seems to be what they were thinking. We ended the meeting quickly and stated that we need to discuss the next response further. This meeting, for me, felt like a second violation in addition to the first, and I'm really disappointed about this. My Principal seems to be in unfamiliar territory here and is feeling the politics of being pulled in two directions. He also stated that, "in a way, it is up to me on the next direction to take with this". I am also getting the feeling that he would prefer for the consequences to be minimal and that the parents might not be cooperative because of "saving face".

At this stage, I am learning that we have to clearly identify what happened, how serious does the school see this, and what are the school policies on this? We should have done this from the start but I felt somewhat steered away from this, which is another issue. Anyways, I have come up with this form of clarity, and for those of you who have read this far, first of all- thank you, and secondly, can I ask for your input on this portion of the post:

1. I researched online about this and most schools are identifying this behavior as Bullying - even if it is the teacher being bullied. We have a school policy on Bullying, which supported and designed by the Board, with some helpful guidelines to use which also indicate for the Principal to take full control of the issue. Not me. It also states a list of consequences at the remedial stage and stronger stage, including suspensions and expulsions. We do not have a student behavior policy.
2. This also appears to be Defamation. The host country has very strict laws on Defamation. The student behavior and the incident is a very strong match.
3. I am learning that schools would rate this as a very high offense on the infractionary scale.

With this line of reasoning (if my reasoning is correct?), in addition to the very public nature of the offense, I plan to request support from my Principal in that the 3 students are not permitted back into the classroom until a public apology to the teacher and the students is made individually by each student for using our images in an inappropriate way and for disrespecting a highly sensitive issue that 1000s of unfortunate children are suffering from.

What is your opinion on an appropriate response?

I feel the consequence should be in this form at minimum and that the energy coming from those who would like me to just drop the matter at this stage is highly inappropriate. I need to feel safe and so do my students, for a sense of confidence that this won't happen again. Currently, I don't have this. If they would be so bold and vindictive to do this to a teacher they don't like, imagine the message it sends to the other 13 students (many of whom have transferred to our micro school due to bullying from the bigger local schools) in the captive audience who were also exposed to it, ie: If they'd do that to the Teacher and get away with it, what would they do if they don't like me?" I think letting this go would just be encouraging a climate of fear, not to mention a very real dangerous climate for me. This country already has a previous and very recent famous witch hunt issue on foreign expat teachers related to this issue.
PsyGuy
Posts: 10789
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Response

Post by PsyGuy »

You are wrong.

Sorry, have to start with this. You arent wrong in merit, purpose, or content. You are wrong because you are attempting to import ideals of a western cultural approach to education and discipline into an environment they are clearly not wanted. You just dont see it. Here are the facts:

1) Your leadership is spineless, because your principal while sympathetic, has no power, authority or influence. They are a puppet, a talking head for ownership. Your principal is putting this in your lap and on your shoulders, because after you are gone, and make no mistake that will happen if you pursue this. Your principal needs to frame this so that it minimizes blow back from the rest of the faculty, while not appearing confrontational with ownership. Make no mistake, ownership pays your leaderships coin and benefits, and you dont keep your job long when you dont do what ownership directs you to do, doesnt matter if your right or wrong, leadership that leaves on principal still leaves.

2) This parent is affluent, and in a position of near absolute power. She will get it her way either directly or indirectly. In part the IS exists to accommodate their childrens behavior. This is what wealth, affluence and influence provides in the way of opportunity. When a DS wont bend to a parents will, the wealthy create an IS to suite whatever needs they want.

3) This is Asia, face is more important than anything else, normally its a benefit to an IT, but in this case the route that preserves face in the most expedient manner is removing the cause of the aggravation, and it is you, not the student. This student has not changed and isnt going to as long as the parents support this behavior from there child, and they have to support it, because thats the only way you end up with a child who still behaves this way. Minimizing the damage (saving face) is much easier, efficient and effective to do by getting rid of you.

4) Why on earth, is your FB and other social networking public? The first thing students do with their ITs is look for you on social networking. They should not find anything other than a listing and a very professional looking profile photo, thats it. You need to lock down those privacy settings, and only allow access to your friends and dont friend students or parents. This problem wouldnt exist if your students had no access to your profile.

5) Your IS has no behavior policy, and for good reason, ownership doesnt want one. Thus technically, your student hasnt violated any rule. I doubt your leadership has authority to suspend or expel a student. Any such action likely must be decided by ownership at their discretion.

6) Defamation is a nor-starter. You will be dismissed and your visa revoked before you get anywhere close to getting a suite even filed. Ownership likely has immense influence in the community, and youre just a foreigner. The parents can probably turn the presentation around and have you charged for allowing the students to present the presentation, after all they are children and your a professional IT. They will say by failing to stop it, you condoned that type of presentation. Need proof look at Neil Bateman.

7) Where did you do your research? Its not that I dont doubt for a moment that bullying, etc isnt true, but this is Asia. Racism, discrimination and all kinds of other "inappropriate attitudes" are commonly accepted throughout Asia. Little emperor syndrome is COMMON, because that behavior is the norm, not abnormal.

These are your options:

THE GOOD

Take a deep breath and let it go. This is how IE works, its a process of exchanging political currency. If you smile and move on with this, your going to put a couple of serious coins in the political currency purse. Look everyone knows, they are all just waiting to see how you handle it. You can profit from this or be discarded, there is no in between. Smile, forgive, and move on and you will incur favors from ownership, leadership, etc. Lock down your social media, and dont change anything else, keep the seating assignments. and maintain the same strict discipline style you have. Heres the thing, these kids are smart and manipulative enough to bait you. They are antagonizing you, knowing that if you blow this up, they will have gotten rid of you.

THE BAD

Where is the father? Call the father in for a meeting, show him the presentation, and ask him how he'd feel if the images were him and his wife. Make it just the two of you, no principal. Just you and him. Look him in the eye, and ask him if he approves. One of two things will happen. 1) The student will do a 180, apologize and hate you forever, but he wont be a problem anymore. 2) You will be dismissed, abruptly, with many apologies from your leadership, and with some significant severance on condition you keep everything private and confidential.

THE UGLY

Push for administrative discipline. Whatever you think is appropriate. Understand though there is no appropriate and acceptable response in this option. You will still be gone just more slowly. Basically, as long as its kept quite you will get some form of appropriate accommodation. You want the kid out of your class fine, you want a private apology fine, etc. As long as its quite and private, and reasonable you will likely get it. Anything else, just wont happen. Your leadership will apologize but you would be blind not to see that anything remotely public, damaging, or costly will just not happen.

THE FUGLY

Go nuclear, threaten to publish. Get all the emails of all the parents and anyone else in the community. Make a youtube video, and a write up of it. Include the student, the parents, the family, ownership and leadership. There are so many things that could happen. You could get anything from a financial apology to thrown out of the IS never to work in IE again.
McQwaid
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 11:46 pm

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by McQwaid »

Thanks Psy. Well, we are an IB World School, non-profit, no private ownership, with a board of half Westerners. So we do have a Western background. But then again, maybe you're right.
shadowjack
Posts: 2138
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:49 am

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by shadowjack »

The horse has left the stable on this one. Mom isn't supportive, kid doesn't like you, but the issue has been aired. In an Asian culture/Middle Eastern culture, dad is the head. When something really nasty comes along, you always want to deal with dad if you don't get what you want from kid.

No advice, except that things like this help teachers make decisions about whether to stay or go. If you don't enjoy the school because of this, make next year your last year and move on.

That said, I am at a school with nice kids, but I STILL make them share their slideshows with me before hand. It gets shown on MY computer. My take away is that you need to have a process for students to pre-submit work to you. It isn't your fault, you are in no way to blame for what happened, but at the same time, a process like this would have allowed you to stop this from happening.

The second thing you might want to do is to lock down your FB page. Friends only - not friends of friends. And perhaps some friends need to be in an acquaintance category so you can lock them out if that's how the students got in.

Tough choices and a tough thing to have happen.
PsyGuy
Posts: 10789
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Reply

Post by PsyGuy »

@McQwaid

As you stated, mom is a key member of the parent board, she most definitely has influence with those in ownership either directly or indirectly.
McQwaid
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 11:46 pm

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by McQwaid »

Thanks ShadowJack. Yes, I let the school know I won't be renewing my contract last November. Also, I did preview the slideshows - they suddenly switched them up. My Facebook is on private and so is my wife's. They used the one private image that is displayed and Photoshop-ed them. They also used school photos and Photoshop-ed them as well.
PsyGuy
Posts: 10789
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Comment

Post by PsyGuy »

@McQwaid

Done deal then, leadership isnt supporting you because youre on borrowed time, they just have to keep it quite for a couple more months and then the problem solves itself when you leave. Play ball and leadership wont poison your next job, make an issue and who knows what they will say.
expatscot
Posts: 307
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2016 4:26 am

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by expatscot »

Saving face is important. You won't get a direct apology for what happened, ever, because that would admit that they have done something wrong. However, it is worth pointing out that the relationship between you and the three students has irretrievably broken down, and something needs to be done about that.

I'd strongly push for them being moved out of your class and that you do not teach them or have any supervision of them for the remainder of your time at the school. They can be moved quietly; other students will know why it happened, but will probably be too embarrassed to say to their parents, while the parents can say whatever they like about the school / you / etc.

If you were staying, I'd argue that you should push for the school to suggest that it might be best for the defiant pupil to move school. The school can give him a decent reference to make sure he goes, and the parent can then again say whatever they like - it gets the kid out of your (and the school's) hair.

All very subtle and low-key, but the message still comes across.

And then when you've gone, post a review on ISR.....
vandsmith
Posts: 348
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2014 12:16 am

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by vandsmith »

i'm not the most experienced teacher out there but i've worked in a few countries - 2 in asia/me and 1 in europe (and a few DS in my home country) - and this student behaviour would never fly.

these students would be on a week suspension, would apologize privately to the teacher and the administration and to their parents, and the teacher would also get a reprimand for not being aware of social media and how it can be accessed by students.

maybe none of that will occur, but at the very least, if it was me, i'd continue to push the admin and parents if possible into action. i like the idea of showing it to dad and/or the board. if they fire you, they will likely need to give you severance. you may just have to move on but if that's how your admin runs the show, you don't want to be in that school anyways.

what a shitty shitty situation with a douche-bag student.

best of luck!

v.
PsyGuy
Posts: 10789
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Reply

Post by PsyGuy »

@vandsmith

At this IS though it does fly, its not like leadership doesnt know, they have already decided not to make an example of the student.
The more likely reprimand is allowing the presentation to continue once it was apparent the visuals were not the pre-approved ones.

I doubt the IS would have to pay severance, as the IT would likely be dismissed for cause, at least they would say it was for cause.
blinky
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:49 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by blinky »

@ OP:

Can I ask why you let them complete the presentation or even go further with it? I would have kicked them out first slide and stopped the class right there. This is not East Asia, is it? This has to be the Middle East. Can you confirm?

Another thing you could have done differently would have been to start filming the presentation.
McQwaid
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 11:46 pm

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by McQwaid »

Thank you ISR forum for your input on how to best move forward. Really appreciate it

@Blinky:

Thanks for the preventive action tips on the past events. I didn't get a chance to create a request post for this.

But no, it was not in the Middle East region.

You're request is a little more of a writing challenge than I'm up for this morning but I'll try. Hope this helps you...

The slideshow was 6 or 7 slides. It was quick. They also used an indirect and pretty clever approach to the their little gag too. To begin, they named there group with their Initials followed by the word "Best". Kinda like a typical awkward ESL wording of "ET BL TH Best". "The "Best" word was placed in a strange way where I couldn't automatically assume a direct malicious intent from the first slide. The next couple of slides had the correct assignment info but started to demonstrate a disproportionate case study approach to examples from my home country. But still, I didn't see a clear stage where I would stop the presentation. My instincts are to assume positive intentions from my students. It never occurred to me that they were indirectly targeting me through using Child Prostitution case studies from my country of origin.

Also, the photos they used of a few of their friends were also photo-shopped and snap-chatted up in such a way I couldn't immediately recognize who it was. They just appeared to be random graphic images of people that didn't have any connection to the content on the slide. Which is very typical of some of my students as their slide content very often does not match the clumsy images they choose. And the final slide, of me, with the big giant font "stop it" placed underneath my photo, initially struck me as inappropriate but I also saw it as using Mr.Teacher as like a police enforcer to "stop it" . I did not immediately assume they were hatefully using my picture as a pedo-pimp example. It wasn't until after, when I reviewed the Google Slide edit history, that I saw exactly what they were up to. This is when the malicious intent became very clear. They deleted the really inappropriate pictures out before the presentation and they tried to be clever and indiscreetly malicious with the slide choices they did move forward with in the presentation. They missed the fact that everything they previously constructed was recorded in the history.

Update is that the Principal made then write up a reflection assignment that,perhaps, progressively addressed the issue and he made them re-do and present a new slideshow. Case-closed (I hope).
PsyGuy
Posts: 10789
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Reply

Post by PsyGuy »

@McQwaid

So really the slide show was a double entendre, and it wasnt until afterwards when you examined the slide history you discovered their real intent and meaning. I could see how that would get by.

So basically your leadership did nothing appropriate, since all they really did was give them a writing assignment and an opportunity to actually improve their grade. Yeah, thats a wrist slap, the kids won.
blinky
Posts: 48
Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2013 1:49 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Request for Advice on bullying/defamation

Post by blinky »

Mqwaid:

It's clear you are dealing with little turds now, and they really thought this smear presentation through. I'm sorry to hear this. I obviously would document everything on your personal email, in case things go sideways. I would also start bccing yourself on any future communications to these kids and parents. And any presentations in this class in the future should be filmed and also documented. You can let the little turds either think harder about who's watching, or you can build a case against them.

If you decide to leave at the end of the year, you can hire a lawyer on your way out of the country and begin a case. If things go sideways with the school and you get pushed out, you can file a suit against them for a number of things. This all depends on which country you are in and where you plan to teach in the future. Obviously, find a lawyer who is not connected to the board and be careful which firm you go to. These boards are often super connected through other businesses they and their families are involved in.

I know someone who sued for something similar to this and won. Just be careful who you talk to about this right now. Don't talk to your coworkers about any legal action or legal advice you may be taking. Your safety and career could be affected.

Or, you could do nothing at all and wait it out.

Good luck.
PsyGuy
Posts: 10789
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Comment

Post by PsyGuy »

@blinky

The LW indicated in a prior post they already gave their intent not to return at the end of the year.
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