Request for Advice on bullying/defamation
Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 12:37 am
Hello ISR Community
I had an unfortunate incident occur recently that I am not very familiar in dealing with and I am just wondering if I can get some encouraging advice from the ISR forum community.
I am currently teaching a grade 10 topic on Human Trafficking in a Humanities Unit on Trade and Exchange. We were at the Taking Action/Raising Awareness part of the unit and the students were put in small groups and did some research for a presentation on a particular area of Human Trafficking. One group of 3 chose Child Prostitution. This particular group of three, apparently, do not like me. They went on my Wife's Facebook and mine and plucked pictures out and put together a slideshow with an Introduction Slide called "Child Prostitution Best". They proceeded to create 7-10 more slides following the assignment guidelines of a Who-What-When-Where-Why approach, while using my picture on the slides and using my home country (Western developed with extremely low Child Prostitution issues)) as a disproportionate hyperbolized example "red zone" with statistics and case studies followed by my picture with a big STOP IT! message font under my face as the final concluding slide. They presented this to the class with giggles and fun. They also inappropriately used 3 other student photos who were in the audience on a few other slides. I was shocked and so were the other 13 student observers.
I moved over the issue quickly due to the topic and public sensitivity, told them to take their seats, and I made a comment that it was very unfortunate that they took such a serious and heart breaking issue as an opportunity to entertain themselves, and left it at that, until I spoke with my Principal.
He was shocked too, and supportive. However, we investigated a bit more into it and found through the editing history function on Google Slides that they had a multitude of my private pictures used and photo-shopped in a provocative and suggestive way but they deleted the strongest ones out prior to the presentation.
We both decided together to conduct a 3-way-meeting with each student separately. One of the students was very apologetic and remorseful, another one was apologetic and confused, and the 3rd one was defiant and stimulated by the opportunity like it was a debate and did not express any apology. All 3 students claimed it was a response to my strict classroom management and specifically highlighted they did not like the seating plan as the other teachers let them sit where they want (Context Note: These are male boys from very rich families in an Asian region and a school body that is very small and we have a very soft approach with student discipline combined with a "Customer is King" mentality due to the fact that the school is financially suffering and in a desperate need for more students.)
We called in the parent of the defiant student and she brought her son with him. In behavior, the student remained unremorseful and very mechanical and cold and I highlighted this as a concern in the meeting. He started getting aggressive in his tone and explained that he can't give a forced apology and that he regrets what he did. The Mom remained silent the whole time, and when she finally chimed in, her energy was directed at me, stating in a loud voice, that "this is the way he says sorry" and then scolded me for "bringing up the past rather than focusing on the specific issue". I think she was referring to my cognitive behavioral counseling like approach as inquiry to establish what was really going on for the student to act out in this way. Anyways, her cognitive dissonance was shocking because I thought she was there to support us as she is a key member of the parent board and I did not really see this as a meeting to see who was in the wrong, the teacher or the student, which seems to be what they were thinking. We ended the meeting quickly and stated that we need to discuss the next response further. This meeting, for me, felt like a second violation in addition to the first, and I'm really disappointed about this. My Principal seems to be in unfamiliar territory here and is feeling the politics of being pulled in two directions. He also stated that, "in a way, it is up to me on the next direction to take with this". I am also getting the feeling that he would prefer for the consequences to be minimal and that the parents might not be cooperative because of "saving face".
At this stage, I am learning that we have to clearly identify what happened, how serious does the school see this, and what are the school policies on this? We should have done this from the start but I felt somewhat steered away from this, which is another issue. Anyways, I have come up with this form of clarity, and for those of you who have read this far, first of all- thank you, and secondly, can I ask for your input on this portion of the post:
1. I researched online about this and most schools are identifying this behavior as Bullying - even if it is the teacher being bullied. We have a school policy on Bullying, which supported and designed by the Board, with some helpful guidelines to use which also indicate for the Principal to take full control of the issue. Not me. It also states a list of consequences at the remedial stage and stronger stage, including suspensions and expulsions. We do not have a student behavior policy.
2. This also appears to be Defamation. The host country has very strict laws on Defamation. The student behavior and the incident is a very strong match.
3. I am learning that schools would rate this as a very high offense on the infractionary scale.
With this line of reasoning (if my reasoning is correct?), in addition to the very public nature of the offense, I plan to request support from my Principal in that the 3 students are not permitted back into the classroom until a public apology to the teacher and the students is made individually by each student for using our images in an inappropriate way and for disrespecting a highly sensitive issue that 1000s of unfortunate children are suffering from.
What is your opinion on an appropriate response?
I feel the consequence should be in this form at minimum and that the energy coming from those who would like me to just drop the matter at this stage is highly inappropriate. I need to feel safe and so do my students, for a sense of confidence that this won't happen again. Currently, I don't have this. If they would be so bold and vindictive to do this to a teacher they don't like, imagine the message it sends to the other 13 students (many of whom have transferred to our micro school due to bullying from the bigger local schools) in the captive audience who were also exposed to it, ie: If they'd do that to the Teacher and get away with it, what would they do if they don't like me?" I think letting this go would just be encouraging a climate of fear, not to mention a very real dangerous climate for me. This country already has a previous and very recent famous witch hunt issue on foreign expat teachers related to this issue.
I had an unfortunate incident occur recently that I am not very familiar in dealing with and I am just wondering if I can get some encouraging advice from the ISR forum community.
I am currently teaching a grade 10 topic on Human Trafficking in a Humanities Unit on Trade and Exchange. We were at the Taking Action/Raising Awareness part of the unit and the students were put in small groups and did some research for a presentation on a particular area of Human Trafficking. One group of 3 chose Child Prostitution. This particular group of three, apparently, do not like me. They went on my Wife's Facebook and mine and plucked pictures out and put together a slideshow with an Introduction Slide called "Child Prostitution Best". They proceeded to create 7-10 more slides following the assignment guidelines of a Who-What-When-Where-Why approach, while using my picture on the slides and using my home country (Western developed with extremely low Child Prostitution issues)) as a disproportionate hyperbolized example "red zone" with statistics and case studies followed by my picture with a big STOP IT! message font under my face as the final concluding slide. They presented this to the class with giggles and fun. They also inappropriately used 3 other student photos who were in the audience on a few other slides. I was shocked and so were the other 13 student observers.
I moved over the issue quickly due to the topic and public sensitivity, told them to take their seats, and I made a comment that it was very unfortunate that they took such a serious and heart breaking issue as an opportunity to entertain themselves, and left it at that, until I spoke with my Principal.
He was shocked too, and supportive. However, we investigated a bit more into it and found through the editing history function on Google Slides that they had a multitude of my private pictures used and photo-shopped in a provocative and suggestive way but they deleted the strongest ones out prior to the presentation.
We both decided together to conduct a 3-way-meeting with each student separately. One of the students was very apologetic and remorseful, another one was apologetic and confused, and the 3rd one was defiant and stimulated by the opportunity like it was a debate and did not express any apology. All 3 students claimed it was a response to my strict classroom management and specifically highlighted they did not like the seating plan as the other teachers let them sit where they want (Context Note: These are male boys from very rich families in an Asian region and a school body that is very small and we have a very soft approach with student discipline combined with a "Customer is King" mentality due to the fact that the school is financially suffering and in a desperate need for more students.)
We called in the parent of the defiant student and she brought her son with him. In behavior, the student remained unremorseful and very mechanical and cold and I highlighted this as a concern in the meeting. He started getting aggressive in his tone and explained that he can't give a forced apology and that he regrets what he did. The Mom remained silent the whole time, and when she finally chimed in, her energy was directed at me, stating in a loud voice, that "this is the way he says sorry" and then scolded me for "bringing up the past rather than focusing on the specific issue". I think she was referring to my cognitive behavioral counseling like approach as inquiry to establish what was really going on for the student to act out in this way. Anyways, her cognitive dissonance was shocking because I thought she was there to support us as she is a key member of the parent board and I did not really see this as a meeting to see who was in the wrong, the teacher or the student, which seems to be what they were thinking. We ended the meeting quickly and stated that we need to discuss the next response further. This meeting, for me, felt like a second violation in addition to the first, and I'm really disappointed about this. My Principal seems to be in unfamiliar territory here and is feeling the politics of being pulled in two directions. He also stated that, "in a way, it is up to me on the next direction to take with this". I am also getting the feeling that he would prefer for the consequences to be minimal and that the parents might not be cooperative because of "saving face".
At this stage, I am learning that we have to clearly identify what happened, how serious does the school see this, and what are the school policies on this? We should have done this from the start but I felt somewhat steered away from this, which is another issue. Anyways, I have come up with this form of clarity, and for those of you who have read this far, first of all- thank you, and secondly, can I ask for your input on this portion of the post:
1. I researched online about this and most schools are identifying this behavior as Bullying - even if it is the teacher being bullied. We have a school policy on Bullying, which supported and designed by the Board, with some helpful guidelines to use which also indicate for the Principal to take full control of the issue. Not me. It also states a list of consequences at the remedial stage and stronger stage, including suspensions and expulsions. We do not have a student behavior policy.
2. This also appears to be Defamation. The host country has very strict laws on Defamation. The student behavior and the incident is a very strong match.
3. I am learning that schools would rate this as a very high offense on the infractionary scale.
With this line of reasoning (if my reasoning is correct?), in addition to the very public nature of the offense, I plan to request support from my Principal in that the 3 students are not permitted back into the classroom until a public apology to the teacher and the students is made individually by each student for using our images in an inappropriate way and for disrespecting a highly sensitive issue that 1000s of unfortunate children are suffering from.
What is your opinion on an appropriate response?
I feel the consequence should be in this form at minimum and that the energy coming from those who would like me to just drop the matter at this stage is highly inappropriate. I need to feel safe and so do my students, for a sense of confidence that this won't happen again. Currently, I don't have this. If they would be so bold and vindictive to do this to a teacher they don't like, imagine the message it sends to the other 13 students (many of whom have transferred to our micro school due to bullying from the bigger local schools) in the captive audience who were also exposed to it, ie: If they'd do that to the Teacher and get away with it, what would they do if they don't like me?" I think letting this go would just be encouraging a climate of fear, not to mention a very real dangerous climate for me. This country already has a previous and very recent famous witch hunt issue on foreign expat teachers related to this issue.