When I reply to an advert, I never mention that I have a wife and kids and I get requests for skype interviews.
When I accept the skype request, I still don't mention it.
I wait until the actual skype interview to bring it up.
I'm wondering if I'm wasting everybody's time doing this.
When should I let them know that I have a trailing spouse and dependents?
When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
Response
@Doctor
That depends on your families logistical situation (how many kids) and your resistance to frustration?
If your interview time is precise and IE is something youd do with the right location, IS, and otherwise opportunity, than you put it in your introduction email/cover letter (along with your ethnicity/race, and age).
If you have a Teflon coated ducks back, than you keep it for the interview or for the offer assuming they dont ask in the interview. If you dont youll never get the opportunity to sell and spin your value compared to your cost to those ISs that would have screened you out without the opportunity for the interview.
Yes you will waste some of their time (and yours), but they are professionals who knew what they were getting into (or should have) when they started recruiting,its about winning not how you play the game.
That depends on your families logistical situation (how many kids) and your resistance to frustration?
If your interview time is precise and IE is something youd do with the right location, IS, and otherwise opportunity, than you put it in your introduction email/cover letter (along with your ethnicity/race, and age).
If you have a Teflon coated ducks back, than you keep it for the interview or for the offer assuming they dont ask in the interview. If you dont youll never get the opportunity to sell and spin your value compared to your cost to those ISs that would have screened you out without the opportunity for the interview.
Yes you will waste some of their time (and yours), but they are professionals who knew what they were getting into (or should have) when they started recruiting,its about winning not how you play the game.
Re: When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
@PsyGuy
"If you have a Teflon coated ducks back, than you keep it for the interview or for the offer assuming they dont ask in the interview."
They seem to always ask either directly or they ask tell about yourself but yeah, if they don't ask, why not wait until an offer is made to tell them.
"If you have a Teflon coated ducks back, than you keep it for the interview or for the offer assuming they dont ask in the interview."
They seem to always ask either directly or they ask tell about yourself but yeah, if they don't ask, why not wait until an offer is made to tell them.
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secondplace
- Posts: 191
- Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2016 12:40 pm
Re: When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
It's on my CV, so that way I am not wasting anyone's time.
There may be country/local/school rules and regulations that need to be followed and, unfortunately, sometimes this means that schools can't, or won't, employ people with non-working partners or multiple children.
This may seem unfair, but it is how it is. So I would suggest being upfront - put them on your CV - to avoid potentially wasting your, or anyone elses, time.
There may be country/local/school rules and regulations that need to be followed and, unfortunately, sometimes this means that schools can't, or won't, employ people with non-working partners or multiple children.
This may seem unfair, but it is how it is. So I would suggest being upfront - put them on your CV - to avoid potentially wasting your, or anyone elses, time.
Discussion
@Doctor
The key issue is getting an interview, once you have an interview you can sell, pitch, spin yourself into an offer. Screening is just checking factors against a list. An interview gives you room to work and persuade.
@secondplace
Can you actually cite a region that has a legal prohibitory requirement that would allow an IS to hire an employee but forbid their family from relocating with them? The closest I know, is an EU requirement that essentially prohibits an employer from hiring a foreigner at a salary that does not afford a basic level of living.
As for IS Rules, and regulations, etc. those are just policies and 2 minutes at a computer can make them go away or be something different.
The key issue is getting an interview, once you have an interview you can sell, pitch, spin yourself into an offer. Screening is just checking factors against a list. An interview gives you room to work and persuade.
@secondplace
Can you actually cite a region that has a legal prohibitory requirement that would allow an IS to hire an employee but forbid their family from relocating with them? The closest I know, is an EU requirement that essentially prohibits an employer from hiring a foreigner at a salary that does not afford a basic level of living.
As for IS Rules, and regulations, etc. those are just policies and 2 minutes at a computer can make them go away or be something different.
Re: When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
During our first foray into the international world we had extensive conversations with a particular school prior to a fair. We got to the fair and met with the director on signup day and then once in his room during the interview process without any hitches. We made it as far as a second interview and he was eager to sign us to a contract when he noticed that we had children. It was clearly stated on some form or something similar. He turned to us crestfallen and said he couldn't accept a couple with children and that put an end to the interview. Luckily we hadn't burned any bridges and walked out with a job on the opposite side of the world. At the same fair we were told by another school that while they loved our qualifications they couldn't hire us because they had no room for more teachers' kids. I guess the point is, if its going to be a deal breaker then its going to be a deal breaker whether you are upfront about it now or later, it just depends on how much time you are willing to invest in a process that might go sideways when your family status comes up.
Re: When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
Spouses and biological children are not typically limited by law, but can be limited by schools’ circumstances. Partners and adopted children can be limited by law. Even the best schools sometimes find themselves oversubscribed and simply unable to accept teachers if their children are in certain full-to-the-brim grade levels.
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Heliotrope
- Posts: 1169
- Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 1:48 am
Re: Discussion
@PsyGuy
> Can you actually cite a region that has a legal prohibitory requirement
> that would allow an IS to hire an employee but forbid their family from
> relocating with them?
I think if the teacher is female, and the non-working spouse is male, the school won't be able to get a visa for the husband. I remember one of the international schools in Oman knows a way around it, but it's illegal to do so.
Also, gay and lesbian couples might have problems is some countries.
> Can you actually cite a region that has a legal prohibitory requirement
> that would allow an IS to hire an employee but forbid their family from
> relocating with them?
I think if the teacher is female, and the non-working spouse is male, the school won't be able to get a visa for the husband. I remember one of the international schools in Oman knows a way around it, but it's illegal to do so.
Also, gay and lesbian couples might have problems is some countries.
Re: When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
sid wrote:
> Partners and adopted children can be
> limited by law.
I have a biological son (6 months) and a step daughter. My wife is a certified k-6 teacher but she refuses to work until our son is at least 3 years old, and only then if we can find a school with a Montessori program.
What I'm finding is the lower tier and lower paying schools are more open to trailing spouse and dependents. It might be I have to take a big step back salary wise for a few years.
> Partners and adopted children can be
> limited by law.
I have a biological son (6 months) and a step daughter. My wife is a certified k-6 teacher but she refuses to work until our son is at least 3 years old, and only then if we can find a school with a Montessori program.
What I'm finding is the lower tier and lower paying schools are more open to trailing spouse and dependents. It might be I have to take a big step back salary wise for a few years.
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wrldtrvlr123
- Posts: 1173
- Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:59 am
- Location: Japan
Re: When to Mention Trailing Spouse and Dependemts
Doctor wrote:
> sid wrote:
> > Partners and adopted children can be
> > limited by law.
>
> I have a biological son (6 months) and a step daughter. My wife is a certified k-6
> teacher but she refuses to work until our son is at least 3 years old, and only then
> if we can find a school with a Montessori program.
>
> What I'm finding is the lower tier and lower paying schools are more open to trailing
> spouse and dependents. It might be I have to take a big step back salary wise for a
> few years.
==================
That's a shame. We all have our definitive ideas about how some things should/need to go but your wife's are definitely going to limit your opportunities and possibly quality of life for the foreseeable future. Wanting to be at home until your son is a certain age is certainly understandable, but what is her reverence for Montessori programs that makes it a deal breaker? How is that going to work if/when she is ready to teach again? If she/you can't get a job at a Montessori school, you will be paying retail to send your son and/or daughter there? Not judging her, just curious about how her convictions about this came about and how that's going to look.
As for your opening question, we are a teaching couple with one son and always put that information into our cover letters, CV's etc. We prefer not to bother applying if one dependent is going to be an issue.
Our son does have special needs though and we generally kept that to ourselves until/if we were further into the process. It has kept us from getting offers after interviews that went really well (in our opinion) and even resulted in one 4 minute interview at a job fair that I wish I could wipe from my memory. We understand that many int'l schools do not have the resources to support children with special needs (and/or won't use those resources for a teacher's child) but the School Head didn't even have the courtesy to allow us a little dignity by giving us the allotted time before essentially kicking us out of his hotel room (no names but if you think of maple leaves and Kobe beef, you would be on the right track :S :P).
It's OK since it worked out great for us since we ended up with our dream gigs and location and with a school system that had services for our son (DoDEA in Japan).
In any case, hang in there, expand your search and hopefully you will find the right situation for you and your family.
> sid wrote:
> > Partners and adopted children can be
> > limited by law.
>
> I have a biological son (6 months) and a step daughter. My wife is a certified k-6
> teacher but she refuses to work until our son is at least 3 years old, and only then
> if we can find a school with a Montessori program.
>
> What I'm finding is the lower tier and lower paying schools are more open to trailing
> spouse and dependents. It might be I have to take a big step back salary wise for a
> few years.
==================
That's a shame. We all have our definitive ideas about how some things should/need to go but your wife's are definitely going to limit your opportunities and possibly quality of life for the foreseeable future. Wanting to be at home until your son is a certain age is certainly understandable, but what is her reverence for Montessori programs that makes it a deal breaker? How is that going to work if/when she is ready to teach again? If she/you can't get a job at a Montessori school, you will be paying retail to send your son and/or daughter there? Not judging her, just curious about how her convictions about this came about and how that's going to look.
As for your opening question, we are a teaching couple with one son and always put that information into our cover letters, CV's etc. We prefer not to bother applying if one dependent is going to be an issue.
Our son does have special needs though and we generally kept that to ourselves until/if we were further into the process. It has kept us from getting offers after interviews that went really well (in our opinion) and even resulted in one 4 minute interview at a job fair that I wish I could wipe from my memory. We understand that many int'l schools do not have the resources to support children with special needs (and/or won't use those resources for a teacher's child) but the School Head didn't even have the courtesy to allow us a little dignity by giving us the allotted time before essentially kicking us out of his hotel room (no names but if you think of maple leaves and Kobe beef, you would be on the right track :S :P).
It's OK since it worked out great for us since we ended up with our dream gigs and location and with a school system that had services for our son (DoDEA in Japan).
In any case, hang in there, expand your search and hopefully you will find the right situation for you and your family.
Discussion
@sid
Those arent limits those are IS preferences. Unless an IS is actually pushing or exceeding the capacity establish by some health and safety code, any limits an IS chooses are arbitrary.
@Overhere
Thats not entirely true, scenarios change, whats a deal breaker on one day be be acceptable the next or at some future time down the road. If you get the interview, youve made more of an impact than a cursory screening of a resume and then selected out.
@Heliotrope
There are lots of ways around such immigration policies, the easiest is to just give the male spouse some form of appointment.
Dont tell them your a couple, your just a single parent with X kids and their nanny.
@WT123
Actually doesnt surprise me, the IBO has some great koolaid, but they dont have anything on the fanaticism of some of the Montessori practitioners.
What would have been the point to continuing the interview once it was determined it wasnt going to work? It would have just wasted time that at the least the recruiting team could have used for a break before the next interview candidate. I can understand being professional and courteous, but going through the motions of an interview for the sake of appearances and your dignity is impractical.
Those arent limits those are IS preferences. Unless an IS is actually pushing or exceeding the capacity establish by some health and safety code, any limits an IS chooses are arbitrary.
@Overhere
Thats not entirely true, scenarios change, whats a deal breaker on one day be be acceptable the next or at some future time down the road. If you get the interview, youve made more of an impact than a cursory screening of a resume and then selected out.
@Heliotrope
There are lots of ways around such immigration policies, the easiest is to just give the male spouse some form of appointment.
Dont tell them your a couple, your just a single parent with X kids and their nanny.
@WT123
Actually doesnt surprise me, the IBO has some great koolaid, but they dont have anything on the fanaticism of some of the Montessori practitioners.
What would have been the point to continuing the interview once it was determined it wasnt going to work? It would have just wasted time that at the least the recruiting team could have used for a break before the next interview candidate. I can understand being professional and courteous, but going through the motions of an interview for the sake of appearances and your dignity is impractical.