Experiences with teenage children

[MrsC12]

Hi all,

I have a potential opportunity in 2019 at a school in Indonesia, which is where my husband is originally from.
We would be bringing along my 11 year old daughter, and would plan to stay for 2 years, therefore once we returned to Australia my daughter would be attending high school after the rest of her level had commenced the previous year.
We are keen for this opportunity for a cultural experience and for my daughter to become more familiar with her fathers background. I know it would be a fantastic experience for her, however I am apprehensive about her returning to Australia and having to fit into high school where the rest of her peers have already formed friendship groups in the previous year.
I’m interested to hear if anyone has any experiences they could share with teenage children settling back into their home country?

[vincentchase]

The research suggests moving secondary schools tends to have negative effects on student learning and well-being. If you do make the move, it would be important for your daughter to maintain those friendships from home and return to the same school as her friends.

Alternatively, you could wait until your daughter finishes primary school and commit to 6 years in Indonesia where she'd complete high school over there.

[Thames Pirate]

Or you can help her adjust and she will be fine as so many are. Sure, it's harder, but research also shows that there is a significant benefit to living abroad.

[Ifyousayso]

Alot will depend on how she feels about the move. If she is exited and wants to go it will probably work out fine. If she is reluctant and has already decided to hate it that's a real problem. You are moving with both parents and that's very important to a child so you have that in your favour. Think also about what you will do if she loves it and wants to stay and you want to return?

[PsyGuy]

I concur with the previous contributors, meaning it could go either way. You could be dooming her which will depend on some extent to her position on the move (whether she loves it or hates it). It could go either way and there will be no way to predict it in a couple of years, no matter what the scenario may be now. There are potential pros and cons for any number of paths.

My position is that kids are pretty resilient and adaptable, you arent going to ruin her life by doing the move, and regret could haunt her and you for many years to come.