International Schools and Divorce

jbiersteker
Posts: 121
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:38 am

International Schools and Divorce

Post by jbiersteker »

Hello,
I was wondering, has anyone ran across any stats about the strenuous workload found at most international/private schools and a "possible" correlation with divorce rates? I'm curious to see if there is any connection. I remember interviewing at one private school in Ontario, and the person conducting the interview/tour informed me right at the beginning that there was an 80% divorce rate on staff. At that point I informed him that there was probably not much point continuing the interview as I was not interested in putting my family in jeopardy. As I look at the international school environments and the workloads, I understand that some people can handle it, but I'm wondering how it is affecting marriages.

Thank you kindly!
whynot
Posts: 35
Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2013 5:52 am

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by whynot »

No stats to give, just anecdotal. There seems to be a proportionally higher number of divorced staff in international schools.

If it's representative, divorced teachers seem to be more prone then others to migrate to an international school, whether it be called 'freedom', 'finding yourself' 'doing something good' or 'running away'. Different perspectives.

If you're looking for a causal factor for a couple while teaching in an international school, I don't think you can pin it on to workload alone. There are a whole lot of interconnected factors that might be in play. Stress due to a different environment, and lack of support structures would be biggies. Underlying incompatibilities that are brought out in a different environment would be another.

That interviewer of yours sounds like a peach. Bags not work for his school.
shopaholic
Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:42 pm

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by shopaholic »

I don't know if the divorce rates are higher or lower than you would see in Canada, the US, or the UK, but in my school there are and continue to be marriages ending when one spouse chooses to pursue a relationship with a local person. This might be because, as my host country friends explained, a Western spouse or boyfriend is a status symbol here. This seems to be the case at a few other schools where my friends work, but not in other places.

But I have no idea if these are higher rates than at home. There are also many happy marriages that remain solid.

I don't think the workload is an issue if both spouses are teachers
fine dude
Posts: 651
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:12 pm
Location: SE Asia

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by fine dude »

SE Asia (Thailand particularly) can be a deal breaker for some as the local women are more feminine and submissive vis-a-vis their caucasian counterparts. They say one of the Thailand's largest imports is Western husbands.
shopaholic
Posts: 82
Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:42 pm

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by shopaholic »

Fine Dude is right. I know two couples whose marriages in Thailand imploded for this reason. You could argue that these men would have strayed if they had stayed at home though, so it is hard to say if the location contributed. Though I do think that Western male teachers enjoy a much higher social status in places like Thailand, so the pool of options may have been larger.

But I also know international teachers who met and married in Thailand/SE Asia. And many marriages that remained solid.
chilagringa
Posts: 335
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:19 pm

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by chilagringa »

Ha! At my school it seems like at least half the staff is divorced, getting a divorce, or causing a divorce.
jbiersteker
Posts: 121
Joined: Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:38 am

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by jbiersteker »

Hi chilagringa,

Any common factors for this tragic situation?
chilagringa
Posts: 335
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:19 pm

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by chilagringa »

For the ones that get a divorce at the school, who knows, but one factor might be the heavy alcohol consumption.

As for the ones who were divorced before, surely divorced teachers go abroad more often because they have less tying them down (like a non-teaching spouse).
fine dude
Posts: 651
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:12 pm
Location: SE Asia

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by fine dude »

Speaking about alcohol, be careful with tainted stuff (fake tequila) in Mexico. Alcohol, affairs, and . are usually the common reasons for divorce in IT.
fine dude
Posts: 651
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:12 pm
Location: SE Asia

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by fine dude »

I meant, alcohol, affairs, and ..
fine dude
Posts: 651
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:12 pm
Location: SE Asia

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by fine dude »

Looks like ISR is censoring even common words. I meant alcohol, affairs, and illegal betting.

*********
ISR Forum Admin: we did not censor your post. What you wrote is what is there. Nothing has been removed.
chilagringa
Posts: 335
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:19 pm

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by chilagringa »

Aren't alcohol, affairs and illegal betting (weird censorship ISR) the most common reasons for divorce in general?

********
ISR Forum Admin: we did not censor your post. What you wrote is what is there. Nothing has been removed.
wrldtrvlr123
Posts: 1173
Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:59 am
Location: Japan

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by wrldtrvlr123 »

chilagringa wrote:
> Aren't alcohol, affairs and illegal betting (weird censorship ISR) the most
> common reasons for divorce in general?
====================
Yes. I think the overseas experience can certainly enhance and/or exacerbate whatever was existing in the marriage in the first place. If there are cracks, they are likely to widen and spread from a variety of sources.

Even a good marriage can bend under the combined stresses of uprooting your personal and professional lives, potential culture shock and unmet expectations. But, once someone adjusts to their new situation, lives and marriages can be become richer, stronger and more enjoyable overseas.

As long as they don't expect it to be an endless honeymoon/vacation romance.
fine dude
Posts: 651
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:12 pm
Location: SE Asia

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by fine dude »

Also, school parties (with adult beverages) and out-of-town field trips can increase promiscuity between colleagues and are a perfect setting for flings. No wonder late night supervision on these trips attracts many volunteers.
buffalofan
Posts: 350
Joined: Wed Jan 06, 2010 11:08 pm

Re: International Schools and Divorce

Post by buffalofan »

The teacher couples (especially with a kid or 2) always seem to be the most stressed out at the schools I've been at, and I wouldn't be surprised at all if this contributed to divorce. Have witnessed it happen once already
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