(maybe) suicidal colleague
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shopaholic
- Posts: 82
- Joined: Fri Jan 20, 2017 11:42 pm
(maybe) suicidal colleague
I'm not sure what to do. My colleague has said some things that make me think she may be suicidal. She is in a bad situation at work and is being bullied by administration so I can't talk to them. Should I try to talk to her and if so, what do I say? I don't know what advice to give her but I don't want to make her feel worse. Has anyone ever experienced this working overseas?
Re: (maybe) suicidal colleague
I haven't experienced this with a colleague, but I have with someone else. Can you take her out for a coffee, a meal, a park, a museum? Get her away from work, preferably outside in the sun. Talk about other things, not the bad situation at work. If she feels bad about herself, just having someone who doesn't dislike her be around can be supportive. If she wants to talk, let her, but don't force it. It would help if she feels she's not all alone but has a friend. You could also look up a suicide hotline or the number of a psychologist who works with expats where you are (assuming you're expats), and keep the number handy. Eventually the right moment might come up to share it with her. In the meantime, you don't need to give advice if it doesn't come to you or doesn't feel right. Just being there for her is important. Being an expat can be lonely and loneliness could make things worse. Good luck, and I sincerely hope things get better.
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Sonnypest264
- Posts: 20
- Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2014 5:02 am
Re: (maybe) suicidal colleague
Do you have any idea if she has gone through this before or has a history of depression? I have been exactly where she is, although luckily not due to bullying and I had a very supportive HOD. However my depression is a long term issue and the situation was made worse by not having the proper medication on moving to the new country.
@alexout is right in providing a non judgemental outlet for her to talk, but depending on the severity or her situation or history, leaving it too long could be a mistake. Only you can really make that judgement unfortunately, as to whether it has gone beyond just coffee and needs more immediate intervention.
My wife managed to find me some online counselling (from a completely different country but the time zones worked well) and I got professional help to provide medication to stabilise me. The thing with depression is that you cannot make rational decisions, in many instances no decisions at all, even as simple as what to wear. So medication can help with that. Many people don't like the idea and stigma of medication, but it was explained to me as simply like taking paracetamol for a headache. Her body may currently be experiencing an illness, just like flu, with a chemical imbalance in her brain and the medication can help redress that.
Once she is more stable the hard work actually begins and that is where proper counselling could be useful. She herself needs to work through the issues and solutions but having someone to guide, support and encourage could be worthwhile. I know you said that the issue may be due to Admin bullying, but is there anyone in a senior position who she could approach for support? Does the school have its own counselor for the kids that she could see? If this is a bullying incident then it needs to be addressed at some point, quite how that is achieved I don't know.
The fact you have picked up on her distress is important and taking action of some kind is needed. I have been in a situation where the distress (from bullying) was not picked up in time and the person did commit suicide. Believe me you do not want to go there.
All the best for you and your friend
@alexout is right in providing a non judgemental outlet for her to talk, but depending on the severity or her situation or history, leaving it too long could be a mistake. Only you can really make that judgement unfortunately, as to whether it has gone beyond just coffee and needs more immediate intervention.
My wife managed to find me some online counselling (from a completely different country but the time zones worked well) and I got professional help to provide medication to stabilise me. The thing with depression is that you cannot make rational decisions, in many instances no decisions at all, even as simple as what to wear. So medication can help with that. Many people don't like the idea and stigma of medication, but it was explained to me as simply like taking paracetamol for a headache. Her body may currently be experiencing an illness, just like flu, with a chemical imbalance in her brain and the medication can help redress that.
Once she is more stable the hard work actually begins and that is where proper counselling could be useful. She herself needs to work through the issues and solutions but having someone to guide, support and encourage could be worthwhile. I know you said that the issue may be due to Admin bullying, but is there anyone in a senior position who she could approach for support? Does the school have its own counselor for the kids that she could see? If this is a bullying incident then it needs to be addressed at some point, quite how that is achieved I don't know.
The fact you have picked up on her distress is important and taking action of some kind is needed. I have been in a situation where the distress (from bullying) was not picked up in time and the person did commit suicide. Believe me you do not want to go there.
All the best for you and your friend
Response
Dont fool yourself you need a professional, being a venting point is one thing, when adults begin talking about harming themselves, its time to bring in a professional. You can talk with them and suddenly they feel happy and look better and you think youve helped and all thats really happened is they have made the decision and they are happy because they are ending their pain. Find a local western health clinic and contact them for a referral. Its the best thing you can do for them.