Cambridge fair with trailing spouse
Cambridge fair with trailing spouse
My spouse and I will be traveling to Cambridge next week for the fair. I am a high school mathematics teacher, he is a trailing spouse. We had planned on him spending time visiting with Boston friends while I am busy with the fair, but when I was reading one of shadowjack's posts, he mentioned that he would bring his spouse to interviews even if she were trailing. Should I plan on my spouse attending interviews with me? Is that common?
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Does he add anything to your value at a school? In the past it was always a look the other way if a spouse attended an interview, and in those cases the candidate should ask the recruiter if its alright. This year their is a new policy that attending spouses needed to pay a $75 fee (which doesnt make them members, but gave them access to the presentations and the social). If he adds something to you as a candidate or may have something of value to the school (that they might consider you a partial teaching couple) then bring him along, as long as you can get him in pair of slacks and jacket (remember the slacks, very important).
If however hes just dead weight, and plans to either be a house husband, has his own business plans, or is going to teach something like ELL on the side, or hes just uncomfortable with the ida, and would be bored in an interview sitting there as a bobble head, then let him do his thing and visit friends.
Even if he didnt attend interviews with you there is still a LOT he can do as a spouse at the fair. You can have him checking your email and portfolio, checking your mail box, attending presentations (while your at an interview, signup, or another presentation). He can even hold your place in line at signup, cutting down on your waiting times. Even if hes just their for moral support, its a lot better then letting go out and play, when there is work that needs to be done.
If however hes just dead weight, and plans to either be a house husband, has his own business plans, or is going to teach something like ELL on the side, or hes just uncomfortable with the ida, and would be bored in an interview sitting there as a bobble head, then let him do his thing and visit friends.
Even if he didnt attend interviews with you there is still a LOT he can do as a spouse at the fair. You can have him checking your email and portfolio, checking your mail box, attending presentations (while your at an interview, signup, or another presentation). He can even hold your place in line at signup, cutting down on your waiting times. Even if hes just their for moral support, its a lot better then letting go out and play, when there is work that needs to be done.
adding value
Well, our plan is for him to either be a house husband or maybe teach ELL on the side, if that's an option. His degree is in International Relations (a mixture of poly sci and econ, really), but he's been working as a substitute teacher in my current school. So I figured that unless a school really wants a good substitute, he's not "adding value" to my candidacy.
I did not sign up for him to attend the social, and Search did not charge me anything for him to attend unless he was going to the social.
I wanted him to be with me more for moral support/quick decision making, because we tend to think better as a pair (another clear head to see things objectively!)
I did not sign up for him to attend the social, and Search did not charge me anything for him to attend unless he was going to the social.
I wanted him to be with me more for moral support/quick decision making, because we tend to think better as a pair (another clear head to see things objectively!)
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Teachermom
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2012 7:14 am
- Location: Asia
Last time I was at a recruiting fair, my husband was a trailing spouse.
Having him along at interviews was helpful, because recruiters wanted to know what he would be doing with his time. They also seemed to ask him questions to gauge whether he would succumb to culture shock and want to go home early.
Having him along at interviews was helpful, because recruiters wanted to know what he would be doing with his time. They also seemed to ask him questions to gauge whether he would succumb to culture shock and want to go home early.
Comment
Those are possibly damaging questions that could be avoided by not having him their at all. Its one less thing that could go wrong that youd have to worry about. A number of times a candidate didnt get the offer because it was felt an issue with their spouse would be a problem.
Good post, Dave
You probably don't even see the irony in what you wrote: "A number of times a candidate didn't get the offer because it was felt an issue with their spouse would be a problem."
Don't you think it's sensible for recruiters to be able to make a judgment call like that? This isn't just the candidate's business; it's the school's business as well.
To the OP, I wouldn't want to make an offer unless I'd met with the trailing spouse. He doesn't have to hoild your hand during the interview, but he should be at the fair in case recruiters wish to meet him.
Don't you think it's sensible for recruiters to be able to make a judgment call like that? This isn't just the candidate's business; it's the school's business as well.
To the OP, I wouldn't want to make an offer unless I'd met with the trailing spouse. He doesn't have to hoild your hand during the interview, but he should be at the fair in case recruiters wish to meet him.
Comment
We all know which side both of us stand on in regards to advocacy for the candidate vs. the school.
The operative term in your statement is "business", Im very sure you would like to know all the information you can, whether its relevant to the candidates performance as a teacher in the classroom or not. Youre hiring a teacher not their family, thats the business factor, the candidates professional contribution to the school, what you would "like" to know ends their and excludes the candidates personal life, including their family dynamics.
The operative term in your statement is "business", Im very sure you would like to know all the information you can, whether its relevant to the candidates performance as a teacher in the classroom or not. Youre hiring a teacher not their family, thats the business factor, the candidates professional contribution to the school, what you would "like" to know ends their and excludes the candidates personal life, including their family dynamics.
Dave, Dave
The operative word in your comment is "versus" as in "candidate vs. the school". Most school heads don't see this as an adversarial situation, where one tries to gain an advantage over the other. Most of your posts present this kind of paranoid world where you have to lie and cheat and deceive in order to get the advantage over "them". When I recruit, I try to tell the whole truth about my school, so that candidates will know whether it is right for them and their families. Don't you think it's sensible for candidates to reciprocate. (Foolish question really, because I know you don't.)
So it's okay to lie about, say, your spouse's medical condition because that's personal and not the school's business? So it's okay to lie about your child's special learning needs because that's personal and not the school's business? And then you get to the new school and find that the medical expertise isn't there to treat your spouse or the insurance company won't cover, and the school can't give your child the support she needs. Any sensible person would see that people need to be transparent about their personal situations, because if the new job doesn't work for the family, it sure won't work for the family member who happens to be the teacher.
Dave, when I first read your stuff it was with a mixture of amusement and amazement. Now I just feel sad for you.
So it's okay to lie about, say, your spouse's medical condition because that's personal and not the school's business? So it's okay to lie about your child's special learning needs because that's personal and not the school's business? And then you get to the new school and find that the medical expertise isn't there to treat your spouse or the insurance company won't cover, and the school can't give your child the support she needs. Any sensible person would see that people need to be transparent about their personal situations, because if the new job doesn't work for the family, it sure won't work for the family member who happens to be the teacher.
Dave, when I first read your stuff it was with a mixture of amusement and amazement. Now I just feel sad for you.
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shadowjack
- Posts: 2140
- Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:49 am
If I was recruiting and there was a trailing spouse, I would want to meet him or her just to get a feel for dynamics...
As a candidate, it was important for me for Mrs. Shadowjack, who is transitioning into teaching, to be part of the interview and get a feel for the school where she would be doing her practicum, subbing, volunteering, etc...
Didn't seem to cause a problem, even though most questions were directed to and answered by me...
As a candidate, it was important for me for Mrs. Shadowjack, who is transitioning into teaching, to be part of the interview and get a feel for the school where she would be doing her practicum, subbing, volunteering, etc...
Didn't seem to cause a problem, even though most questions were directed to and answered by me...
ok, I have a plan!
As always, thanks to everyone for your advice. My husband will be with me at the fair, but not at the interview unless the recruiter requests it.
We have no problem answering the kind of questions Walter is talking about, because I agree, those things are important for schools to know; just like I will have a list of questions about the school, considering it's where I'll be spending the majority of my waking hours for the next few years, at least. I currently work at a school where openness and honesty has treated me very well, but I'm not blind to the fact that some administrators might not be as honest as my current boss. Still, I'll look to the advice of other friends in the international circuit to point out the good/bad/ugly as far as that goes. (and the reviews on ISR!)
That said, my husband will be my biggest asset abroad, so I have no problem with anyone interviewing him, too. I'll make sure he has some nice trousers, PsyGuy--no Captain Underpants!
We have no problem answering the kind of questions Walter is talking about, because I agree, those things are important for schools to know; just like I will have a list of questions about the school, considering it's where I'll be spending the majority of my waking hours for the next few years, at least. I currently work at a school where openness and honesty has treated me very well, but I'm not blind to the fact that some administrators might not be as honest as my current boss. Still, I'll look to the advice of other friends in the international circuit to point out the good/bad/ugly as far as that goes. (and the reviews on ISR!)
That said, my husband will be my biggest asset abroad, so I have no problem with anyone interviewing him, too. I'll make sure he has some nice trousers, PsyGuy--no Captain Underpants!
As a recruiter, I prefer to meet trailing spouses. It's not always possible, sometimes they're home holding down the fort during the fair, but if they're anywhere nearby, make their presence known. Ask the recruiter if they would like your husband to attend the interview, instead of waiting to be asked. They can easily say no, but at least they'll know you're open to it. Make sure your husband attends the social with you, and preferably interview sign-up. Even seeing him for those 3 minutes can help assure the recruiter that all is well.
It's important to give the impression that your husband supports you and your move overseas. That's his main role if he's to be at home, and his starting point if he'll be transitioning into some kind of teaching, so he might as well start right away.
It's important to give the impression that your husband supports you and your move overseas. That's his main role if he's to be at home, and his starting point if he'll be transitioning into some kind of teaching, so he might as well start right away.
Comment
What sid and shadowjack seem confused about is the difference between "needs" and "wants". You want to meet the spouse because you want to know everything you can even if its not relevant. You dont need to meet them. Whats next meet the kids too, make sure they arent going to be disruptive to the school environment.
@ Walter
Allow me to introduce you to the strawman. So you bring your spouse and kids to the interviews, so that candidates can get a feel for how you and your spouse interact and how it might effect working at your school? After all its not adversarial right?
Those are very important factors, such as SPED and medical limits on insurance policies, that you should bring up, and id even argue that you would be negligent if you didnt. Oh look heres a candidate right in front of you that you can discuss all those issues with, no "need" to talk to other family members to get that information.
Yes when admins are so insensitive that they dont know whats appropriate and what isnt then yes lieing is acceptable. You can discuss these issues without requiring a candidate to reveal their medical history or providing records. For instance instead of "What medical conditions do you have" a recruiter should say "we have a restrictive health care policy for our staff, and it precludes pre existing conditions and certain chronic conditions. Is their anything regarding you or your families medical history youd like to discuss?" and then be prepared to say no, because even if their is the candidate and their family may have other plans and arrangements to address their medical needs that really are outside the scope of the candidates employment.
You can do the same with SPED needs, etc.
As usual and always you dont know what you think you know.
@ Walter
Allow me to introduce you to the strawman. So you bring your spouse and kids to the interviews, so that candidates can get a feel for how you and your spouse interact and how it might effect working at your school? After all its not adversarial right?
Those are very important factors, such as SPED and medical limits on insurance policies, that you should bring up, and id even argue that you would be negligent if you didnt. Oh look heres a candidate right in front of you that you can discuss all those issues with, no "need" to talk to other family members to get that information.
Yes when admins are so insensitive that they dont know whats appropriate and what isnt then yes lieing is acceptable. You can discuss these issues without requiring a candidate to reveal their medical history or providing records. For instance instead of "What medical conditions do you have" a recruiter should say "we have a restrictive health care policy for our staff, and it precludes pre existing conditions and certain chronic conditions. Is their anything regarding you or your families medical history youd like to discuss?" and then be prepared to say no, because even if their is the candidate and their family may have other plans and arrangements to address their medical needs that really are outside the scope of the candidates employment.
You can do the same with SPED needs, etc.
As usual and always you dont know what you think you know.