So here's the situation: I am scheduled to ship off to Beijing on August 1 for new teacher orientation and begin the school year on August 16. My best friend from home is getting married on September 15, a Saturday. He asked me to be in his wedding, but I told him I couldn't shortly after I secured my overseas position. It will be early in the school year and I won't really have any money yet, though I guess I can put the flight on my credit card.
My question is: should I even consider trying to fly back for the wedding, or is that absolutely insane? I figure I can fly out Thursday night, get there Friday, go to the wedding Saturday, and fly back to Beijing on Sunday.
Has anyone made such a whirlwind trip before? If so, was it worth it?
I'm starting to feel bad about saying no, but a weekend trip home from Beijing seems a little extreme.
My Best Friend's Wedding
Did that
Did that actually, its a 20/22 hour trip from Beijing to the USA and you cross the international dateline. Are you just a guest or a member of the wedding .? If I was just a guest Id skip it. If your best man or something Id talk to my school and try and make it work.
If your not going Id invoke bro-law, and tell him you will do the bachelor . on his next marriage. When he says "what the F?", tell him relax man I'm just being cheap, and know you two will be together forever. Then send them a jade tea set or something for a wedding gift. You can get cheap ones for $25-$50 (you can also spend $1000 and up too).
If your not going Id invoke bro-law, and tell him you will do the bachelor . on his next marriage. When he says "what the F?", tell him relax man I'm just being cheap, and know you two will be together forever. Then send them a jade tea set or something for a wedding gift. You can get cheap ones for $25-$50 (you can also spend $1000 and up too).
-
wrldtrvlr123
- Posts: 1173
- Joined: Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:59 am
- Location: Japan
Re: My Best Friend's Wedding
[quote="psychris"]So here's the situation: I am scheduled to ship off to Beijing on August 1 for new teacher orientation and begin the school year on August 16. My best friend from home is getting married on September 15, a Saturday. He asked me to be in his wedding, but I told him I couldn't shortly after I secured my overseas position. It will be early in the school year and I won't really have any money yet, though I guess I can put the flight on my credit card.
My question is: should I even consider trying to fly back for the wedding, or is that absolutely insane? I figure I can fly out Thursday night, get there Friday, go to the wedding Saturday, and fly back to Beijing on Sunday.
Has anyone made such a whirlwind trip before? If so, was it worth it?
I'm starting to feel bad about saying no, but a weekend trip home from Beijing seems a little extreme.[/quote]
-----------------------------------------------------
It is extreme and a little crazy. It also almost doable. Going to the states won't be bad since you are picking up 12 hours. Coming back to Beijing though could be a problem. Even if you leave Sunday morning, it will be Monday morning by the time you get here. So that means taking Friday and Monday off very early in the school year (and you'll be fairly wiped out that week). So, not great, but just doable I guess.
My question is: should I even consider trying to fly back for the wedding, or is that absolutely insane? I figure I can fly out Thursday night, get there Friday, go to the wedding Saturday, and fly back to Beijing on Sunday.
Has anyone made such a whirlwind trip before? If so, was it worth it?
I'm starting to feel bad about saying no, but a weekend trip home from Beijing seems a little extreme.[/quote]
-----------------------------------------------------
It is extreme and a little crazy. It also almost doable. Going to the states won't be bad since you are picking up 12 hours. Coming back to Beijing though could be a problem. Even if you leave Sunday morning, it will be Monday morning by the time you get here. So that means taking Friday and Monday off very early in the school year (and you'll be fairly wiped out that week). So, not great, but just doable I guess.
-
stellalocal
- Posts: 82
- Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2012 5:21 am
-
liketotravel
- Posts: 105
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:58 pm
For once I side with psyguy on one.
Just send them a gift, watch the video and put the priority on settling into your new life which won't be a piece of cake (wedding ?).
On the other hand tons of people from my work have gone home this year from Asia for a full week for weddings. Some of them told the boss when they got hired others as the year went along.
Good Luck...
Just send them a gift, watch the video and put the priority on settling into your new life which won't be a piece of cake (wedding ?).
On the other hand tons of people from my work have gone home this year from Asia for a full week for weddings. Some of them told the boss when they got hired others as the year went along.
Good Luck...
I'm with Stella. If he really is your best friend, and (you hope) this will be his one and only wedding, you would not regret going, and probably would regret not going. You will be pretty zonked upon return, but trust me, it will be worth it. You can catch up on your sleep and lessons later, but you would never be able to get a do-over on the wedding.
Man
So groomsmen, best friend, his first wedding, Open bar or cash bar? What do the brides friends look like?
Yeah, Id go, take off Friday and Monday. Otherwise you'll be the D-bag who wasnt "there". Don't ask your school until you get there.
Yeah, Id go, take off Friday and Monday. Otherwise you'll be the D-bag who wasnt "there". Don't ask your school until you get there.
-
overseasvet2
- Posts: 191
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:50 pm
weddings
Did this once to be in the wedding and it was a 12 hour trip home - north/south so no jet lag. I arrived in time for ., rehearsal and wedding. Fifteen years on, my friendship with the person is as strong as ever, the money doesn't matter anymore and I have all the memories. Plus I'm in the wedding pictures forever!
Do check with the school - some are more understanding than others. You'll have to take personal days back to back - some don't allow this.
Good luck!
Do check with the school - some are more understanding than others. You'll have to take personal days back to back - some don't allow this.
Good luck!
-
lifeisnotsobad
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:37 pm
Dear psychris,
Ask the school if you can take the days and accept that their response (what ever it is) will be governed by school policy. If your friend is a friend, he will completely understand that you now work in Beijing and that the school may or may not give you the time. Enjoy your new job, you will have a blast!
Ask the school if you can take the days and accept that their response (what ever it is) will be governed by school policy. If your friend is a friend, he will completely understand that you now work in Beijing and that the school may or may not give you the time. Enjoy your new job, you will have a blast!
No doubt the trip will be a &%^$& and the week back, if you are anything like me, will be hard too. The secret is to stay as much on Beijing time as possible while in the States. I once had a friend go to Atlanta for 2 days and he stayed on Beijing time and was fine when he returned. I wouldn't say anything until I get there, though I would make my plans now because airfares are not going down anytime soon.
Well, it looks like I'm going to try to make it.
I was just at their bridal shower and I felt like a jerk saying no whenever someone asked me if I would be at the wedding after hearing I was moving. Psyguy, you're right, I WOULD be the D-bag. Thank you everyone for helping me decide! You guys have been so helpful on multiple occasions.
I really appreciate it.
@Overhere So you think I should book my tickets prior to clearing it with my school?
Also, why is everyone recommending that I don't let my school know before I arrive in Beijing? Won't they want as much forewarning as possible?
I was just at their bridal shower and I felt like a jerk saying no whenever someone asked me if I would be at the wedding after hearing I was moving. Psyguy, you're right, I WOULD be the D-bag. Thank you everyone for helping me decide! You guys have been so helpful on multiple occasions.
I really appreciate it.
@Overhere So you think I should book my tickets prior to clearing it with my school?
Also, why is everyone recommending that I don't let my school know before I arrive in Beijing? Won't they want as much forewarning as possible?
-
overseasvet2
- Posts: 191
- Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:50 pm
letting your school know
Definately clear it with the school before buying the ticket. They would not be happy to hear you'd "presumed" you'd get to go. Write the director and explain the situation. Like Stellalocal says, if the school says no it will be due to a policy (hopefully) and as a new hire, you'll have to just go with it.
Reply
Your reporting the first of august the wedding is the middle of September. You have plenty of time to buy tickets once you start, and you wont get the best deals on airfare until about a month before anyway. Heres the reason you want to wait until you get there: 1) You havent built up any political currency yet. Heres how it sounds, you havent even showed up yet, and your asking for time off. 2) You want them to say yes, and you dont have a lot of reason for them to give you a favor.
You need to be at work a while, show your a great contribution to the school, wow and amaze them a little and then you can ask for a "favor". Hopefully you will have earned a coin or two from admins, and you will be in a better position to actually get them to say yes.
You need to be at work a while, show your a great contribution to the school, wow and amaze them a little and then you can ask for a "favor". Hopefully you will have earned a coin or two from admins, and you will be in a better position to actually get them to say yes.
-
lifeisnotsobad
- Posts: 133
- Joined: Tue May 13, 2008 3:37 pm
Dear psychris,
Please take PsyGuy's advice with the pinch of salt it deserves. The vast majority of schools are governed by policy when it comes to asking for time off. Some schools will allow for personal days, some will allow for unpaid leave and some will not allow for any of these. However, the terms for taking such leave (or not) will be laid out in the school policy. Asking for (or expecting) a 'favor' is not likely to get you in any good books. I would see absolutely no problem whatsoever in contacting your new Head of School, explaining your situation and asking what the school policy is regarding the possibility of taking such leave. At least that way you will be able to let your friend know sooner rather than later whether you will be able to attend.
Please take PsyGuy's advice with the pinch of salt it deserves. The vast majority of schools are governed by policy when it comes to asking for time off. Some schools will allow for personal days, some will allow for unpaid leave and some will not allow for any of these. However, the terms for taking such leave (or not) will be laid out in the school policy. Asking for (or expecting) a 'favor' is not likely to get you in any good books. I would see absolutely no problem whatsoever in contacting your new Head of School, explaining your situation and asking what the school policy is regarding the possibility of taking such leave. At least that way you will be able to let your friend know sooner rather than later whether you will be able to attend.