First Semester Abroad: Homesick Advice?

[Expatrookie]

Hi-I'm teaching for the first time abroad after a few years in the US. I love my job--good admin, good peers, great classes. I like the city and the country-- I've been out seeing the sights, found great dive bars and food, have found my way navigating the new home. In short, it's been a successful first semester.

Now I'm back in the old hometown for Christmas, and I'm realizing how incredibly homesick I've been. I realized it the last few weeks, but had an extremely strong sense getting on the plane back to the US of how much I wanted to be "home"-- i.e. my old "home," not the new place I'm living. Now I'm here for the next two weeks and am not looking forward to getting back on the plane.

Reading everyone's discussions here, this would be a different discussion if I were subject to some of the abuse that it seems is out there-- but I live in a nice place, I've got a good job with good people. My wife and I took this job because we wanted to live in a different environment and explore-- I think that we've just learned that where we left was where we wanted to be all along.

Perspective: We're one semester into a two-year contract. How much of this is normal "learning to live abroad" learning curve? How have you all dealt with homesickness? How much credence do you put in this after 6 months? And if this is significant/meaningful, how do we manage it for the next 16?

[Rutabaga]

I think what you're feeling is quite normal. There is a normal adjustment curve. You might want to read up on culture shock to better understand what you're feeling. There is a very predictable pattern of feelings. For me, this is around the time of year that I tend to feel the most homesick. However, I often find that leaving my new home does help, because it helps me realize, when I come back, that I have started thinking about it as home. I think the good news is that you are happy with where you are. You'll get used to being there. It will get better with time and when you get to the end of your two-year contract, you may find that you don't want to go.

[JISAlum]

This is normal. There is an adjustment cycle and you are in it. I experienced this once and it took a while to see where I was living as home now. Look at the positive and make an effort to get out and learn about your culture and people.

I think many teachers see an overseas post as a 'holiday' from their 'real' home and miss out on all the opportunities that their new location provides. In looking back I still consider SE Asia as my home even though I'm now in the US.

I would also say to try and avoid counting the days. You are incredibly luckily to have a two year contract in a great place to live- a place you enjoy. Many would trade places with you. Use the two years to experience as much as possible- if you don't you'll regret it later.

[wrldtrvlr123]

[quote="RobSg"]I certainly agree with JISAlum. Your home in the US will always be there for you. You can return there anytime you want. Eventually you will begin to feel totally at home in your setting and consider that also your home, and you'll actually look forward to getting back after vacations in the States. I speaking from 40 years of teaching overseas.

After living in Singapore for so many years, it's home. I'm retired here and working part-time. However, that will never replace my home in the United States. It's always there for me to go.

Best of luck the rest of your school year.

RobSg[/quote]

Not to be unhelpful, but my experience has been very different. We were so ready to go overseas and live a different life that homesickness has never been an issue. We did go home for Xmas after that first 6 months in Egypt and realized that it was wayyyy too soon. Since then, we go back most summers to see family (alhough we skipped this last summer to take an amazing trip through Europe) and enjoy our time there, but are always happy to go back to wherever our new home happens to be.

I think that just proves that everyone is different. The real test will be how you feel when you do get on that plane and go back to finish the school year. A little homesickness makes going home that much sweeter, but continuing to be miserable and not enjoying the life you have overseas may be a clue that you should really consider all of your options.

[PsyGuy]

While my personal experience is more like wrldtrvlr123s, we have had a couple new faculty that are also new teachers here in Denmark. With the weather, limited daylight hours, and holidays several of them have gotten home sick. having family around you even if just a spouse and/not kids, makes it easier but I will say this, it does go away. Your coming down from the enchantment phase of your culture shock.

[Overhere]

I would bet that you will feel much more at home once you return to work. I have found that it generally takes 6 months to aclimatize and once that happens you'll look back at the feelings you had the first six months and wonder how you ever felt that way.

Good luck and Merry Christmas.

[ichiro]

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[Android]

As someone who grew up / raised all over the world and has been traveling ever since without a fixed residence per se, the "homesickness" you are experiencing is temporary and part of the culture shock high and low. You will experiencing another phase of absolutely hating everything about the new host country / culture, but in time, you will get over it. By the 2nd year, you will get adjusted and end up falling in love with the place all over again and if you do happen to stay a 3rd year, then you'll be calling it your " second home ". It takes around 2 - 3 years to get adjusted to a place enough to call it a " second home " and you will experience the strange phenomenon called " reverse culture shock " when you go back home to the US for good where you end up missing the host culture / country. For someone like me who has lived in so many different continents and countries since I was in my toddler years ( and still going in my 40s ), the culture shock phases are fewer and far in between...but I still experience them. They don't come in terms of months ( as you are now experiencing in your 3rd month of being in the country )...but in terms of years. Good luck and it will pass!

[jessd82]

Homesickness is very normal, even if you are familiar with the country you are moving too. And after you are gone, you can be homesick for your old host country. I left England after 2 years and was homesick for lots of things there. I know part of my problem is nostalgia for experiences in both my home country (the US) and my second home country (the UK) and that there will always be things to miss about each because of the make up of people and experiences in each.

I remember when I came home for Christmas the first year being so shocked by how large my bedroom at my parents house seemed in comparison to the room in my cottage where I lived in England, it was so bizarre. You get used to switching as you do it more frequently. Hope you had a happy holiday!

[ozman]

I was homesick on my first OS posting in the UK, but this only lasted for about a week or so. This was in a "horror school" which was a part of the UK state system, a lot worse than some of the worst you have read about on ISR.

I quite liked the UK and travelling around Europe; it wasn't till I got back to Oz that I got homesick as in: it was my home and I was sick of it. I couldn't wait to start my next O/S adventure and I can't see myself returning to Oz anytime soon. Earth is "home" now.

Seriously, it sounds like you may be a bit of a home-body if you are still homesick after six months in a good school at a location you like.