Admin that touch

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fangpiren
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Jul 18, 2020 3:34 am

Admin that touch

Post by fangpiren »

I was in a meeting the other day and this admin was answering a teachers question and he did so by resting his hand on the teachers shoulder while talking to the group; he had his hand on the guys shoulder for like a full 30 seconds. I've seen this guy do this several times - resting his hand on peoples shoulder while he talks to them.

Am I te only one who thinks that this is a bullshit 1950s type management strategy that shouln't be used?
shadowjack
Posts: 2054
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2012 9:49 am

Re: Admin that touch

Post by shadowjack »

I don't touch staff or students, with some exceptions, like coaching when the team comes in for a strategy huddle during time out, or a punch on the shoulder (not a real punch, you know, a soft knock, as if to say, great job), or when a player has a melt down, I might put my hand on his shoulder, but not for anywhere near 30 seconds. But strangely, when I look at it, all are shoulder touches ...

Apart from that - nope.
expatscot
Posts: 251
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2016 4:26 am

Re: Admin that touch

Post by expatscot »

No.

Personally, I always feel really uncomfortable when people do that. It might just be a friendly thing - but it's my personal space and I don't really want anyone else in it.
mathphyschap
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 3:58 am

Re: Admin that touch

Post by mathphyschap »

It's totally inappropriate.

But at the same time it can be quite amusing as long as it's someone else suffering. I was in one meeting where an Academic Director touched the shoulder of one of his more vocal backers among the faculty and left his hand there for a good 100 seconds or so while the face of the teacher in question got redder and redder and stayed red for a good 15 minutes after the director removed it.

I did live in the US for a while around 15 years a ago and it was quite common back then for managers to given their workers a joe-biden style shoulder rub to encourage them. I'm pretty sure it would be out of fashion now though.
angelica1981
Posts: 15
Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:28 pm

Re: Admin that touch

Post by angelica1981 »

I work for a director who does this to female staff and I hate it. We all hate it. Someone wrote about it in a review for him on ISR, but he keeps doing it. He is a large man and it is intimidating to be grabbed and pulled in for an unwanted hug but he is also easily offended and no teacher wants to get on his bad side.
PsyGuy
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

Response

Post by PsyGuy »

Theres a generation of old guys in IE leadership who just think this type of contact is acceptable and professional. Youre not going to change them and they arent going to change on their own. Those behaviors and the rationals for them are crystallized in their personality.
Heliotrope
Posts: 965
Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 1:48 am

Re: Admin that touch

Post by Heliotrope »

At my very first school we had a director two years from retirement who did something similar. A female member of staff expressed her discomfort, and he stopped doing it altogether.
He just didn't realise people would take offense but was quite apologetic when he found out that she and others did.

It will depend on what kind of person the admin is. This director was always very approachable and welcomed criticism, but I some directors might take it as a personal attack when you criticize them.
PsyGuy
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Location: Northern Europe

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Post by PsyGuy »

For everyone of those leaders there is at least one that would be offended and non-renew/dismiss an IT for it.
Heliotrope
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Re: Comment

Post by Heliotrope »

PsyGuy wrote:
> For everyone of those leaders there is at least one that would be offended
> and non-renew/dismiss an IT for it.

That's merely your guess.
Based on my experience in IE it would be about a 1:1 ratio, but it might be either more than one like you claim, or a lot less than one. We'll never know.
PsyGuy
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Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 9:51 am
Location: Northern Europe

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Post by PsyGuy »

@Heliotrope

As opposed to you guess.
I only post from experience and reliable and trusted sources.
How is stating the ratio is 1:1 different from "For everyone of those leaders there is at least one that would be offended and non-renew/dismiss an IT for it.", thats what a 1:1 ratio is.
Heliotrope
Posts: 965
Joined: Sun May 13, 2018 1:48 am

Re: Reply

Post by Heliotrope »

PsyGuy wrote:
> @Heliotrope
>
> As opposed to you guess.
> I only post from experience and reliable and trusted sources.
> How is stating the ratio is 1:1 different from "For everyone of those
> leaders there is at least one that would be offended and non-renew/dismiss
> an IT for it.", thats what a 1:1 ratio is.

Reliable and trusted sources that you somehow never share.
Your 'at least' led me to believe you mean the number is likely higher. But true, it could mean 1:1. If so, we agree.
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